Back in olden times (the 80s and perhaps 90s), if you were deemed to be ‘grounded’ or in some other state of offense with your parents, it was the custom to be sent to your room. This punishment was handed down in order for you to:

• reflect on all of the wrongdoings you have committed,
• realize the weight of the poor choices you have made, and
• recognize the ways in which you must improve your decision-making for future growth…

Being sent to your room was a wake-up call. Your room was a boring and desolate place. It was such an isolated and detatched environment, much like a remote outpost or a barren desert. You were alone. You were banished. You had nothing but books and boring toys and maybe something with which to write a last will and testament.

If you were sent to your room, it meant that you did something pretty bad. You had to be separated from the rest of the family – and civilization – because of the gravity of your sins. There was really only one other place that was worse than being sent to your room, and that was the kitchen table. And since food wasn’t being served at that moment, it meant that you had to talk. Confess. Look people in the face and be all serious – which is never what the kitchen table was designed for.

Today, your room is exactly where you want to be locked up. You have devices. You have entertainment. You have Doordash. You have noise cancellation. You want for nothing. You have everything.

When the next occasion calls for you to regain the attention and focus of a wayward child or grumpy teenager, use the following tactics to deal them a dose of reality:

• Tell them to take a seat in your living room, but call it ‘the den’ (they won’t know what that is, but they’ll be truly scared of it)…
• Remove all devices
• Sit across the room facing aforementioned child
• Remain in the living room until the child apologizes or otherwise reaches enlightenment (this could take several days)

The living room is the new purgatory.

Flipping the script as a parent requires quick thinking, jockeying for position, and staying one step ahead. If my kids ever read this post, they may gain the upper hand, but they’re currently self-sequestered in their rooms.